"i think i've killed a duck"

2008-06-09T16:39:00.004+08:00

oh dearr,i think im havng trouble uploading photos here. and i've become someone with a much shorter attention span than my tuition kid when it comes to studying. each time i hit the books, my eyelids start shutting. and im not exaggerating, trust me. i ended up watching gilmore girls, and here i am. im sooo much better off as a student, on holiday.

2008-06-08T23:11:00.006+08:00

you know how the Bible teaches us to love thy neighbour? i was reflecting about that today. and personally, i think to really care and love someone, the top most essential thing is to build a relationship with that person. it's not just simply reminding them to attend meetings or asking them why they missed a certain church session, it's a lot more than that. i'd think it's really down to getting to know someone, to show them that you're making an effort to involve them in your own life, to show them that you're also an available outlet that they can turn to when faced with a problem. now, that's really love. though as intangible as it sounds, it can be easily felt if it's genuine and pure. so, im really thankful right now for my intimate circle of friends and family who teach me how to love(:

I find peace when I'm confused
I find hope when I'm let down
Not in me
In You
It's in You
I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
In You
it's in You

and this, is to show how much i lovee them!haha!

Wonderdummied

2008-05-13T22:07:00.002+08:00

i really dislike this feeling where you say something, and you end up regretting for the rest of the day.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

2008-04-05T17:17:00.002+08:00

well,i don't think i have to justify my choice for anyone. so,that's a mental note for me,and anyone who is so shallow as to judge me for it.

2008-03-12T11:50:00.001+08:00

"what i really need,what i'm really looking for, is not something i can articulate. It's nonverbal: I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brain shuts off and your heart turns on"
- prozac nation.

loves of my life((:

2008-03-07T23:59:00.006+08:00

the loveliest and sweetest people i've ever met. commemorating how much i've aged on such a horrible day. though JOANNE TAN did say how lucky she was that today isnt her birthday. but i could forgive her after her pretty and yummy cupcakes, of which the photo got deleted somehow! and i left them lying on the table in essentialbrew!): i wished helium lasts more than a day, cause the BAlloon they bought is nice to look at(: so thankyou thankyou thankyou!for making my day! nothing beats spending time with my lovely team6.oh man, im feeling blissful now.

lots of love,yanny!

Stranger things have happened, and everyone moves on

2008-02-22T18:22:00.004+08:00

you know how sometimes you keep typing and backspacing at the same time, until there's nothing left to delete? guess i still havent gotten used to blogging.
anyhow,just got a tuition assignment with THREE korean ladies who wants me to teach them english. it sounds pretty exciting and refreshing, but im starting to panick! i dont have any material to teach them, and i just realised i have to watch how i speak. and i do tend to have this weird higher pitch than usual voice when im not being myself/presenting/teaching groups like this! the money's good and everything, BUT STILL. help):
other than that, went for an attachment with a speech therapy. it was pretty cool to have an official hospital tag i must say.

"i think, actually, that none of us understands anyone else very well, because we're all too shy to show what matters the most. If you ask me, it's a major design flaw. We ought to be able to say, here, look what I am. I think it would be quite a relief."- Katie (True to Form)

i guess i like quotes cause, well, dont you like them too?

have you ever thought of what protects your heart?

2008-02-19T12:26:00.003+08:00

"If conversation was the lyrics,laughter was the music,making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale."
- The Choice

catching up has never felt so good

perfect

2008-02-16T21:37:00.002+08:00

I used to stare up into the sky, and fill the space around with my why's but now I've got it all figured out, and I'm embarassed that it me too long, the simple answers in her replies, unlock the universe with her eyes, she rips apart my world with her moves, oh, while stealing all the light in the room and I found someone to walk me through this life, the brightened sun has opened up my eyes, tonight I need exactly who she is, we're going to be perfect She can teach a melody to the birds, and problem solving without a word, she can tell the richest man how to need, oh, right after telling him about me and I found someone to walk me through this life, the brightened sun has opened up my eyes, tonight I need exactly who she is, we're going to be perfect And in my life, if I can have one thing I don't deserve then I have never wanted anybody else but you She can do no wrong in my mind, so I take a seat while she takes her time, 'cause I am here forever I say, so lock me up and throw the keys away 'cause I found someone to walk me through this life, the brightened sun has opened up my eyes, tonight I need exactly who she is, we're going to be perfect, perfect.

aww.

im starting to like diane lane. she's nice to watch. under the tuscan sun just makes me wanna go italy. oh, but im still not used to seeing sandra oh acting as a joyful mother in that show after watching so much of grey's. alrighties, awaiting for closer to start. yes dawniee,i live up to being a tv addict.haha

"Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present."

2008-02-09T03:22:00.000+08:00

just to sum up what i've been doing for the past few days

i've been spending time with my favourite nephews in the world (:

watching disney classics with the most glamorous group of people!(:

attending career fair with the once-unemployed, taking my favourite pictures like this

went for a movie date with this as my highlight of the day! and uploading pictures finally

alrights,shall tell you the rest of my life story some other time.nights

2008-02-06T21:18:00.000+08:00

!i cant seem to upload any photo!

save me

2008-01-23T09:10:00.000+08:00

seriously,i wouldnt have known a dead chicken scares me. it feels like a baby! and its head, the eyes kept staring at me! oh wells,other than that, cooking with my ahma's pretty fun.

you know how sometimes you watch serials,and everything's so DRAMAtic. right now,i wish a little of that could happen in mine. especially when everyone else is busy with work. sighs. im bored at home! anyone who's reading this (especially MEL FU!),haha,i think you're the only one who ever bothers to read this thing here, please entertain me! looking for job is reallyyy tiring. looking for some organisation to shadow is even more tiringg. boredom has made me bitter and complainy! for now im just thankful for a laptop to use for the next few hours before i head home where there's nothing for me to kill time, except studying for my SAT.

shipwreck

2008-01-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

I built a fortress
With a hundred thousand faces
I'll keep it safe
With a hundred thousand more
But these masks are wearing thin
As You draw me inI spent my time
On the empty and the fleetingI spent my life
On much less than I'd dreamed
But I'm reaching out to you
To make me new

'Cause I am just a beggar
here at Your door
I am just a shipwreck
here on Your shore
I come empty handed
Ready to see
Your life in me
changing who I've been
To who I need to be

You tell me my story
As You sift between the pages
I feel redemption
In the space between each turn
Could You take me in Your arms
And tell it just once more
Could You take me in Your arms
And tell it just once more

i've been away long enough,

2007-11-30T21:36:00.000+08:00

"My mind was too busy trying to make sense of all this, though i know that was probably useless,too. I could lay out everything i knew about my [life], make lists of every memory and every fact, but like the night sky, there would still be holes, places too far away from me to make out any light."
- the song reader

maybe it's just me

2007-03-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

something's wrong.i've been flaring up so often recently.argh.which is so annoying..but im glad the weekend's here and the horrible tiring week has just past.school's been getting on my nerves recently.it's draining me!i dislike being cooped up..argghh.i feel like whining and complaining non-stop, but it seems like everybody else is having a bad time too.
oh yah.my dearest peyton's at the sony ericsson service centre and she wont be back till 12th march?yup.ultra long.asked to loan a phone from them, they ended giving me this thick,gold phone.didnt take up the offer in the end.oh well.maybe peyton get well soon.
i've never felt this fake in my entire life.

where have all the good people gone.

"perhaps we all give our hearts uncreditly to those who hardly think about us in return"-lucas scott

helo helo

2007-03-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

!!haha.i just bought 2 more seasons of onetreehill!madness.oh well, i was actually pondering over to get grey's anatomy or onetreehill.my peyton and nathan!(: (: haha.looks like i havent got over them since 3 yrs ago?wow.that's long.heh.alrighties,anyone who wants to have onetreehill marathon with me book an appointment with me!
other than that, nth else more exciting happened today,besides me getting abit too high today in school.k,im going back to my chem now!argh.more tests tmr

2006-12-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

my dear olddd friend who's often ignored by dawniee):

our one and only beloved paul-5-hill!hahah

haha.dont we all love andrea's new hairdo?

my goodness.look who's the one pouting better than me!haha

the loves of my life and santa!(:

2006-12-10T21:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACIEEE(:

not sure if you'll get to see this.but in case you do, i came online just to type this to remind you that i havent forgotten about ur special day!love you!(:

2006-11-23T08:04:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING!(:(:
and goodbye!

there are certain people we just keep turning back to

2006-11-19T21:22:00.000+08:00

ahhh.yanting's feeling ultra bored today ): maybe it's a good thing to be busy.hmmm..come to think of it, i feel weird that for once im dont have to rush to somewhere else for something.and i probably wont see the class till next year?okay, so today isnt my day to be alone at home.boo): i dislike this feeling :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

ayee.the photos are messed up):

the cookie crumbles but in whose hands.

2006-10-24T20:16:00.000+08:00

headline news! yanting has stopped complaining about school!hahah.that's a really biGG accomplishment for me(: and considering it's coming to an end, i just can't wait!if im not wrong, intercon netball's gonna start soon..or has it started?hmm.that was rather random.haha.didnt see it coming myself. maybe cz im wearing my dearest favourite bright yellow netball jersey!(:(:
come to think of it, if you were able to accomplish any one of your dreams, nothing is impossible for you. and i think im coming near that!(:okay, but for my case, it isnt a dream. just something small that i've been hoping to accomplished since like forever.
im craving for famous amos cookies!someone go wisma with me to get it!haha.
oh!another thing, i cant wait for PW to be over! haha.i've already planned for my group stuff to do once it's over! food feast and movie date!ahh!sooo exiciting!(:(:
woww.i just come to realise the most satisfying part of the year is the end! haha.how ironic. and i guess i kinda took almost one whole year to adapt to school huh.

leaving traces behind, turning back once in a while, if im able to.

2006-10-13T09:47:00.000+08:00

purple flowers, blue daisies, yellow lilies, white roses.
This is what i've learnt in essence of a leadership course.wow.oh wells,not sure bout getting into trouble cz i went for all the wrong courses.and eversince tuesday, i havent been going school.thank goodness.but hopefully they wont force me to attend any make up lessons for anything or else..
ahh.i just cant figure out a way to get out of my house too go for darenight!okay, maybe i have..but it's gonna cost quite a lot to cab there and back, and i got to get back before my mom returns home.i think my leg have stopped bleeding, not as bad as yesterday that is. i stepped out for the house for like half an hour, and im already struggling not to get all the wounds infected cz apparently plasters have no adhesive abilities. currently, i've come to a conclusion that cheap, big boxers of plasters aren't worth buying cz the minute you put it on, it falls off. and for now, the ones that stick better are hansplast.yup.till i've found better branded plasters, i'll recommend them. oh, and another problem was i got to walk really slowwwly): you know the traffic light where it starts counting down, i take exactly that long to reach the other end. uhoh.am i ranting?oh noo,ranting's bad.i shall stop that and be glad im still slacking away at home(: -beams.haha.i've been staying either in my living room or my room with my brother's laptop watching grey's anatomy, gilmore girls season7!, love hina on youtube!im so addicted to it!and that's pretty bad cz im gonna gain weight for sure. eating and sitting the whole day. oh,and i tried to find long vacation in youtube, but to no avail): sadly.which prompted me to go shopping for it online knowing that i can't purchase it without visa.oh well.ohoh!i've recently decided i want to go university of melbourne!haha.pretty crazy, but..how i wish!and i dunno why i just like looking at those pretty university brochures..hmmm,maybe it's just me wanting to leave the college as soon as possible.it's only one more year!or maybe even less than that(:but then again..i dont even know i'll get promoted): yup.that's for next week..at least i know im one step closer to going for getting-promoted-feast!haha.cz yunjia's promotion is confirmed!(:woww, our studying at subway paid off!k,maybe not ours yet.but YOURS.alrights,im going back to watch grey's anatomy!(:(:

2006-10-07T11:26:00.000+08:00

wow.it's finally over!(:i loveee slacking and being a couch potato!though i might be getting fatter anytime..oh wells.have been watching grey's anatomy and gilmore girls which have been making feel happy(:and it made me want to go overseas and live,which is pretty impossibe.

this is such a random comment,
people request for a thousand daisies but a single one will make me content.

2006-10-05T20:36:00.000+08:00

Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope the wound that causes it heals. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can’t outrun it, and life always makes more
- Meredith, grey's anatomy!(:

what's forever in a world that's coming to an end

2006-09-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

"But you have to let things go eventually, right?"
"but sometimes you need a little something to remind you. you wouldn't want to forget everything, would you?"

sitting in long busrides can be a roller coaster within.especially when it brings you back to moments you never wished will come to an end.

2006-09-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

(:(:
my dream camera!kk.savin up already

she's wearing a masquerade,just like everyone else is.

2006-09-09T00:48:00.000+08:00

!!how can i be here right now when im supposed to be studying?!
anyhow, the holidays comnig to an end): and i dont want awful school life to start.especially when it ended on such an abrupt bad note.-scowls.thanks to , alrights.shant rant on about unworthy stuff.haha.thanks to joanne, i revisited my lovely memory lane today(: love doing catching up, but not the not studying part cz we couldnt focus.and once again, i went back to my old bad habit again by influencing people around me to eat nonstop.heh.short films of crescent life just keeps playing in my head for the whole day and it's still doing so.thank goodness, at least i have happy memories to think of rather than non.

you fall away from your past, but its following you.
let it be then.
why take the painful route to forget things that once made you smile?
they are what we have,
but not one to hold on to.
so stop trying,
and maybe, settling for half is what's best for us.

and she says goodbye.

2006-08-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

prayers dont go unanswered.it's just a matter of accepting what's written right infront of you.

it was always about me.

2006-08-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

haha.spotted a rather funny video just now about some guy who fell down after giving a speech, and the funnier part is that they made sucha big commotion out of it.alright,maybe i shld be sympathising with him since he did suffer quite abit.today was fine(:considering the fact that there's no school!met up with crescent people whom i miss ever so much!(:(:exhausted right now.ahh.i miss those stress-free days..argh.cant wait to get out of college.

maybe it's time that i just switch off my emotional side and start focusing on more important things around that will bring me somewhere.
but that was never easy.and i dont expect things to go according to how i want it.

2006-08-07T03:09:00.000+08:00

hmmm..it's early in the morning..and im thinking..sleeping in for tmr(:

i've been fooled by my own emotions all this while.

not everything makes sense all the time

2006-08-05T23:36:00.000+08:00

im sorry to say this, but i think my passion still lies in netball.i miss it, alot alot): then again, i wont regret my decision. and now im just tired of repeating the reason for my quitting. arghh!im in a super annoying mood right now i dunno why.im not in a right state of mind to say anything concrete and sensible now..

why am i asking back for it when i know that You obviously dont agree on it.im confused.

fixing the jigsaw puzzle of her life

2006-07-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

i would say it's God's grace that the saints came over my place to have a casual small gathering.talked about things and told them about my awful experiences in school.you know what i've just come to realise?the fact that im constantly trying to be as good as everyone else in school, being competitive and all, although my standards nowhere threatening to others, that i forgot to find rest and peace in Him.these few weeks were exhausting and draining.i've found out worst things going around and well..all i've got to do now is to move on and just stop thinking for a second.take one step at a time.then again,all things are easier said than done.i'll just have to learn to rely on Him every second of the day no matter what.or else..i won't know how much i have to struggle through this 'short' period of 2 yrs..or rather 1 and a half.all i want now is hope for everything to settle down and that i would stop complaining." And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you" 1Peter 5:10(: i thank You Lord, You work not by the world's system of so called 'justice' but by the power of grace.which explains the parable in matt 21?if im not wrong..
ohoh!highlight of the week!!CRESCENT SPEECH DAY(:(:(:!haha.i loveee going back and have that feeling of familarity.missed my favourite spot, netball court!and of cz my dearest team 6!couldnt stop feeling happy and laughing throughout the day until..everything ended.and well,good things never last.all those memories just started playing and replaying like some broken player.and well..my hands are peeling!just like how it did after obs..): how i wish i could remember studying materials as well as i can remember all my memories..
and He whispers words of love that gives you peace which surpasses all understanding(:

that's what a bored and exciting person will do in clean nice toilets(: what can i say, but it's the horrible HORRIBLE curse of THE TIE!which makes anyone sulk like melly here!hahaha

see!told you it's the tie.. my other love of my life!(: oh dear..i realise the trophies are too transparent to be seen. without them,there's no yanting like today(:

what's worse than losing something that cannot be replaced

2006-07-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

today's a much MUCh better day(: ahha.thanks mel, for that short line of testimonial.and looks who's telling me not to be depressed!im utterly shocked.-gasps.this morning started off sleepy.was trying very hard to stay awake in meeting.after that it was fine.met up with stephanie to walk to mrt with and meet my pw grp.yup,was kinda dreading it..but surprisingly i was thinking during the meeting!haha.hmm..come to think of it.my whole day evolved only ard the pw meeting and nth else.oh,other than me finalising my decision.im just not prepared for the interrogation session that i foresee it coming.
im just glad that i have saints in church who are nice nicee people(:(: thank You Lord(:

all i have to do now is trust myself into YOUR hands and i know everything's gonna be fine. continue to guide and strengthen me through all YOUR trials that is to come..

ahhH!how cute can JJ get(:(:

it takes courage to believe in things that might not exist anymore

2006-07-22T20:13:00.000+08:00

this week was one emotional roller coaster.it's just awful to know how cold this world can get.and insults just come one after another, non stop.it's like being slapped many many times on my poor face.call me over sensitive or anything, i might even have read too much into things, but im growing increasingly resentful towards people around me.well, let's just narrow this to people in school, of all ages i would say.thank you all so much for giving me such well-thought comments, that i guess is supposedly to help me do better in school huh.i really appreciate the fact that im constantly demolarized to such a level that i wish i never tried.i loathe jc life.it's sucking everything out of me that there might just be a possibility that i'll grow numb soon.i hope.

i love my crescent days(:(: sth to cheer me up once more!

reality?annoying.

2006-07-15T12:49:00.000+08:00

it's surprising how the most immature people are the ones in teaching you.well,i just realise that not long ago.and i guess there are many more things i have yet to uncover to make me hate my surroundings even more than i already am.it's really gonna take a whole lot of effort out of me to settle down.and i just hope that im not putting others around me down by my frequent complains and occasional whining which i cant bring myself to do it cz it's depressing me even more.alrighties,im sounding depressed already!hahah.but i always feel better on weekends(:i thank God for the people around me who doesnt make me feel and act superficial, be it my feelings or decisions i make.and reality is one of the most ugliest thing that i ever got to know recently.and it's putting me down constantly..but all im thankful right now is that He has carry me through my days which i thought i'd never lived through(okay,dramatic.yes i know).looking forward to youth service later(:

pretty pretty lavender farm(:haha.random picture of the day!

still reminiscing

2006-06-26T17:41:00.000+08:00

"too many people pray like little boys who knock at doors, then run away"

thought that was quite true.and well..im still praying hard.

dreamcatcher

2006-06-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

tiring tiring day! but it was all worth it considering the amount of fun at the bbq!(:! haha.i came up with 2 conclusions today..one is that sambal stingray is the most amazing thing on earth, and barbequed marshmellows are the second most wonderful thing!alrights.i better stop talking about food and think how fat im getting!!sighs.this is depressing..haha.oh dear.how can i laugh right after i said im depressed..im getting sleepy..not talking sense anymore

it's annoying
that im trying so hard to move on,
yet it contiues to pull me back
and haunt me in my dreams.

faith of a mustard seed(:

2006-06-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

Dear Lord revealed to me 3 really important lessons today and im really greatful for them cz He is a God that hears AND answers prayers(:
FAITH is main source of having an intimate relationship with Him.
yesyes, probably everyone knows that already. but the faith here doesnt only apply to us believing that He died for us and resurrected and that He is the Son of God etc etc. it applies in our daily living as well. as revealed in matt 17:20 "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." so if u claim to have faith, do ask urself have you moved the the mountains in ur life? that question posted by the speaking brother really hit me. all i did these days reflect nothing of that sort, in fact it was the total opposite.so..yup.time for some self-reflection to do.what's more touching is the fact that He did so much for us,and yet His expectation for us is so minor.all He is asking all of us right now, is to have this little faith in Him, whereby the mustard seed is used as an analogy to paint us a clearer picture.how small the mustard seed is, is exactly what is expected of us.if we cant even live up to this little expectation of His..how sorrowful do you think He is feeling right now..

alrights.i need to get back to studying!

revealing of KAT's evilll plot

2006-06-18T18:34:00.000+08:00

doesnt dear dear kat look ever sooo innocent here..

never did i know that she have always been plotting something against KALAI!

well..only her head that is.hahaha
MUTANT K!!poor poor kalai..hahahhaha

oh dear..think i just self-entertained for the past 3 minutes.but it's funny!you got to admit it!hahah!once again..im sooo proud of myself for my superb phototaking skills.-beams(: kk.LOTR is starting in no time..!

incoherent thoughts

2006-06-17T19:57:00.000+08:00

what can i say, but to post this unique picture of MARS ATTACK! just for dawnieee(:hahha
my loves!(:(:
here comes the ball..

plop!

whoosh!(:nice eh,im proud of these 3 photos!-beams

alrighties.here i am starting a new blog!haha.decided to change to blogspot JUST to post photos online..just had a longgg chat with dawnieee to come up with this super ultra cute and delicious sounding url!(: shall not elaborate more.ahh.dawnieee made my day today!(: (: love you plenty!kk,shall post more photos just for YOU!and ur mommy too!here goes..

here's the MOST glamourous photo of my dearest dawnieee!hahaha!

ahh.it's not working anymore..alrighties.i'll post more photos later!(: